Off brand, family size, Fruit Swirls. Sure, they don't quite measure up to the crunchy, sweet goodness of the real thing, but they do the trick. Whenever I need a fix of sugar and I'm willing to be a tad bit unhealthy, I run to them. There's something about the way they disintegrate under the weight of my molars into a powdery lump of sugar that is appealing to me. This has a lot to do with the fact that I'm a recovering sugar addict. Not long ago, you could spot me around the house with a grocery bag full of assorted candy goods. This was not an occasional guilty pleasure, but a daily indulgence. While I've strayed from such extreme habits, I still need to appease my gluttonous tendencies. Crush away, my friends. Turn your cereal to mushy goodness. Don't be afraid of the way that your 2% transforms your Loops into a soggy, limp ring of carbohydrate. Rather, embrace the way it easily glides from your tongue, down your throat and into your stomach. Savor the intensity of the sweetness on your taste buds and be thankful that it's not so dry that it leaves cuts on the roof of your mouth, causing you to scream in agony every time a grain of salt grazes it. Hell, even try eating cereal without the milk. Get spontaneous with your Fruit Loops, don't always eat them as a breakfast food. Substitute meals for fruit loop indulgence. I have to remind myself of what little nutritional value they have, because I find my mind telling my mouth to eat nothing but them. Eat less real food, swallow more sugar, and be the healthiest junk food eater you can possibly be. Happy Cereal eating.