no one ever said this was going to be easy. okay, that was so cliche i want to die, but seriously. who signed me up for this? i don't recall ever getting a disclaimer that said "sign here, here, and here if you agree to these terms and conditions." not that i would have read it, but still. sometimes i wonder if i'm even the right one to do this. it's not like there was a test or anything. ha. that would be one interesting test. and how would it work? would you get a little plastic card with a stupid picture on it that said "license to save the world"? and there's where i lost you. i wonder what you were thinking? maybe that i was just some self-centered teenager complaining about school? i guess i could see that. but you're wrong. i'm specially designed to save the world. wow, okay, that sounded REALLY self-centered. but it's true. ever since i was a baby, i was raised for that reason. to save the world. and from what, you may ask? well, from you. humans. you see, the people who raised me, they knew that humans would totally mess up the earth. it's kinda a no-brainer. so they created me to stop you. i was genetically-modified to be able to stop you. it's not that i'm not a human; that's not true. it's just my DNA has been messed around with so i'm stronger, faster, smarter than you. and i'm infinitely more in tune with nature than you. i was raised in a "natural" environment, complete with trees, grass, dirt, all that good stuff. so when they showed me what humans had done with the world, i was, how you say? appalled. it's really terrible what you guys have done. i mean, seriously? you dumped a bunch of nasty sludge into the ocean just because you want to make a few extra bucks? it makes me sick. not to mention all the animals you killed off. they're extinct. as in, not coming back, ever. and why did you do it? there's a whole range of disgusting reasons. money, power, sport, and simply because you think you have the right. really? talk about self-centered. ooh, i'm the big and powerful human, and just because i can invent destructive things, i can go and mess with how things were designed to be. wow. nature had a path. it did its own thing for billions of years, and it was doing just fine until you came along. so that brings me to my point. taking my cues from nature and not from you, i'm not going to just extinctify your species (yes, i know full well that's not a word. deal with it). i'm going to give you a warning first. stop messing with nature. leave it alone, clean up after yourselves, and stop doing things for stupid, selfish reasons. or i will have to do my job. got it?
later (hopefully not),
madge