Dear Dad,
Please accept my most respectful salutations, the reason I am writing this letter is not to justify what has ever came out from me, but it’s a plea for you to take a look on the inside, and see for yourself the damage you have (unwarily I presume) caused throughout my life as your daughter and perhaps you'll start to realize the drift that has always been between us.
I shall be speaking solely for myself whenever possible, because I don't want to put words that were not said into the others' mouths, but I know well, just as well as I know you, that you will still turn your anger towards them.
My dearest and only father, I am truly grateful of all the things you willingly and with an open heart gave to me, and I appreciate all the fatherly feelings you held for us, and were your motive to give us things you weren't fortunate enough to have, and wouldn't for a second deny it.
However, my dear father, you still managed to make me carry these strange feelings for you, they cannot be placed as hate, nor as grudge, at least I know that I am familiar with it, for almost every third day of my life with you, feelings of anger, frustration and underestimation of self's worth. You, my father, have been the sole reason for the negativity I carried around in my heart, every lesson you taught me – of course making sure that you praise yourself as you did- has given me a push in the direction I am taking today, I assure you, father, that its not an easy road, nor a road I have sanely chosen for myself.
I grew up becoming the thing I feared the most, a distorted copy of you, no matter how many times I nodded smiling whenever you stated that I would want to be like you, deep down inside I was praying to God that wouldn't, I was and am not ready to carry twice the pain with my children (should I ever be insane enough to have any) in the future.
Please accept my most respectful salutations, the reason I am writing this letter is not to justify what has ever came out from me, but it’s a plea for you to take a look on the inside, and see for yourself the damage you have (unwarily I presume) caused throughout my life as your daughter and perhaps you'll start to realize the drift that has always been between us.
I shall be speaking solely for myself whenever possible, because I don't want to put words that were not said into the others' mouths, but I know well, just as well as I know you, that you will still turn your anger towards them.
My dearest and only father, I am truly grateful of all the things you willingly and with an open heart gave to me, and I appreciate all the fatherly feelings you held for us, and were your motive to give us things you weren't fortunate enough to have, and wouldn't for a second deny it.
However, my dear father, you still managed to make me carry these strange feelings for you, they cannot be placed as hate, nor as grudge, at least I know that I am familiar with it, for almost every third day of my life with you, feelings of anger, frustration and underestimation of self's worth. You, my father, have been the sole reason for the negativity I carried around in my heart, every lesson you taught me – of course making sure that you praise yourself as you did- has given me a push in the direction I am taking today, I assure you, father, that its not an easy road, nor a road I have sanely chosen for myself.
I grew up becoming the thing I feared the most, a distorted copy of you, no matter how many times I nodded smiling whenever you stated that I would want to be like you, deep down inside I was praying to God that wouldn't, I was and am not ready to carry twice the pain with my children (should I ever be insane enough to have any) in the future.
