All of this frustration inside is really getting to me. I feel as if I'm in a hole by myself and nobody cares. The emptiness that is inside keeps eating at me. My fiance doesn't seem to understand nor anyone else i talk to. my friends don't talk to me hardly and I have a hard time making new ones. What can I do? Everything seems so stressful right now. The new house...the wedding...the loneliness...the pain of no one caring. Nobody calls me to see how I'm doing. No one checks up on me...my total existance is nothing...to everyone. I'm tired of feeling like this. I feel like I care about everyone and no one cares about me. I lost my bestfriend a long time ago...she was the only one who understood my pain and then she went away. She got lost in heartbreak and what she thought was love. Changed her completely and I did not agree with it. It was my choice to finally end it because I was tired of the fighting and everything else that was going on. I wish things were the way they were before but as the saying goes, you gotta leave the past behind and move on. Moving on is the hard part, its hard to move on when no one else is wanting to move on with me. I love my dear Christopher with all my heart. He is the only one that wants to be with me and who cares about me. There are many un-answered questions and feelings in my life but now that I've been writing these feelings down I feel better. That bitch has shown were she lies....fuck you. dumb bitch.