This is the first day of madness. I am eternally falling into a hole of procrastination. I cant breathe because when I draw breath I only pull space and space isnt air or anything, its just nothing. I dont think writing is ever what I wanted but yet maybe it is. What is writing? How am I supposed to write? I can write... but what makes a writer? is it a righter? i dont know what the hell differentiateis the two. I dont know anything anymore. I need a break from this insanity that is the constant cycle of disappointment that comes with not achieving anything at school on a regular basis. I want to crawl from my apathy and get to do something but I always feel so afraid to achieve and do things. I dont understand where in my programming this lies. It's like what I told Ash, that when I arrived at uni I still thought it uncool to achieve. For some reason, I still feel like that a bit. I must get rid of this thought because it isnt something I want to carry past uni.

Thats all for today.