I've come to realize over the last year, that I'm the most complicated, open-minded person. But at the same time, I believe and hope in so many things that I don't know will ever happen. People always say you're the leader of your own life and you can do what you want with it, but that doesn't always mean you'll get a happy ending or get what you want in life. For some reason, today I realized why I like reading so much and why I always get so lost in the things I read; it's because I like the lives the people lead. I don't necessarily mean I want their life, but it always seems so exciting, the person finds love, and they always have a happy ending. I'm always in a better mood when I read because of that aspect, their way of life enthralls (I'm not sure if I used that in the right context) me. Those characters are always so certain of want they want in the end, and I have no idea what I want in life. My choices are always based on millions of things, and I always change my mind about everything. My opinions about things will change on a day to day basis, I'll want something one day and the next I won't. Characters are always so set on their way of life, but I'm always wanting to change mine up. I hate the feeling of when a series ends or when I'm done with the book, it makes me wish the author would just keep writing forever. In the end I want to be just like them, so content on my way of life, so sure where I'm going, and to say I've experienced so much. I've never really done anything daring, I'm too scared of the consequences will be if I do. One day, though, I'm going to look back and wish I had done so many things. That's not what I want to remember my life being like; just hoping and wishing I'd done and experienced so much. Books have taught me that I need to embrace life, you never know how long something will last. Also, in books, you always know they're gonna end up okay and happy; I wish I could say the same for myself. I could never admit this to anyone for the fear of being looked at like I'm crazy. I mean I already believe so much is possible and exists in the world, people just have to think I'm super weird. There are probably people who feel the same way, but it still makes me feel strange that I feel this way. For the time being, I'm just going to keep reading, it's what keeps me on my toes and keeps my thinking process going. Books are what always help me consider what could happen if I did certain things, and what could always just randomly happen in my life.