It's hard to write when you're trying to keep your mind off everything completely. Dolgin and I are on a "break" so to speak, but still going out. I don't know, we just aren't seeing each other for 7 days to get some space. That's not so bad. The bad part is that he's using this time to decide whether he wants to stay with me after the break. We're deciding on Saturday when I get home for thanksgiving break and we're just going to have a talk during the day. I'm so worried it will be the end, but at the same time I just want it to be Saturday. I'm trying to ask him if he just wants to do it Thursday when my roommate's home already and we'll be alone. But he just said we will see. I feel in the dark since we're barely talking (I'm trying to leave him alone as much as possible this week) and I just wish I knew what he was thinking. When he came over to my apartment to get his laundry he barely looked at me. So I'm really worried he's falling out of love with me. I feel the worst because this is kind of what's happened in every relationship I've ever had, only the roles are reversed. Now I want to go back and apologize to every guy's heart I've broken. Or that I pushed away when they got too clingy. Only this time I was way too clingy. But I'm trying so hard to learn from this and hoping I stay with Dolgin in the end of this. I have been too clingy, and way too dependent, and I'm glad I'm being forced to take this time and evaluate why and get over the dependence. I just hope at the end of this he still feels the same way for me, and I'm going to try so hard to leave him alone this week. And from now on, if we're still together, he can make the plans and text me so I'm not so dependent. And now I'll have more time with my friends and to do school work now that I won't see him everyday. It'll be hard, but it's so needed. I'm glad he's taking time to miss me, and hopefully our reunion will be amazing and he'll realize his feelings never changed and won't end in me being completely heartbroken. The main thing giving me hope is that he texted me earlier "I have thought about you so much and miss you so much.. No lie." I hope at the end he realizes that he needs me and he'll stick with his promise of forever and always, instead of realizing he's better off without me.