I'm listening to a TED talk by an individual named Sheena Iyengar about the behavioral act of making choices. She just talked now about research that demonstrates individuals cannot distinguish between the tastes of Coke or Pepsi. What people really are thinking when they believe that they can tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi is that they are distinguishing between brands, not taste. Perception controls the belief in choice, not taste buds.
Today, I coached an individual who likes to be called by the full name of Steven. We were at a nursery called We Grow Dreams. It's an act of branding, this name. Steven goes there not because it's his dream to pull dead plants out of pots, but because his mother is trying to ensure he will qualify for publicly financed health care by being paid a wage by this nursery.
He has no choice.
I'm forced to coach him there because it's an employer-paid job, not a training site. I have limited choice, too, though I perceive it as no choice, really. Steven has been instructed by his mother all of his life, so this situation is no different from anything else that he has known.
I also attended a conference today with two of Claire's teachers at Kennedy Junior High School. Her science teacher and her language arts teacher, Mrs. Weber. What stands out in my memory of this meeting is the conversation/argument (?) with Weber regarding Claire's participation in large group/all-class setting. She reported that Claire participates infrequently in these settings/contexts, which I'm not surprised by. What was interesting was the response of Weber to my questions about the different settings during which discussion occurs. She reacted almost defensively, which was not my intent. My intent was to only gather information. Perhaps I ought to have stated that from the outset I was only asking questions to give myself some information to use in discussing with Claire how to approach asking questions/participating in class.
This is a lesson that the parents, specifically the father, of another client, taught me earlier this week -- that questions are only being asked to gather information, not to use in making accusations in the future.
Earlier this week, I met Santee for my session. Eventually, I came around to the topic of expressing myself clearly in terms of what I'm interested in. I think that that lack of clarity also exists in expressing thought verbally because I sometimes believe that what I'm saying is something that will be responded to defensively. My reflection on that is that when I phrase/express myself neutrally, I'm giving space for the person to choose his/her response; if defensive, that was that individual's chosen response. I did not control it.
Today, I coached an individual who likes to be called by the full name of Steven. We were at a nursery called We Grow Dreams. It's an act of branding, this name. Steven goes there not because it's his dream to pull dead plants out of pots, but because his mother is trying to ensure he will qualify for publicly financed health care by being paid a wage by this nursery.
He has no choice.
I'm forced to coach him there because it's an employer-paid job, not a training site. I have limited choice, too, though I perceive it as no choice, really. Steven has been instructed by his mother all of his life, so this situation is no different from anything else that he has known.
I also attended a conference today with two of Claire's teachers at Kennedy Junior High School. Her science teacher and her language arts teacher, Mrs. Weber. What stands out in my memory of this meeting is the conversation/argument (?) with Weber regarding Claire's participation in large group/all-class setting. She reported that Claire participates infrequently in these settings/contexts, which I'm not surprised by. What was interesting was the response of Weber to my questions about the different settings during which discussion occurs. She reacted almost defensively, which was not my intent. My intent was to only gather information. Perhaps I ought to have stated that from the outset I was only asking questions to give myself some information to use in discussing with Claire how to approach asking questions/participating in class.
This is a lesson that the parents, specifically the father, of another client, taught me earlier this week -- that questions are only being asked to gather information, not to use in making accusations in the future.
Earlier this week, I met Santee for my session. Eventually, I came around to the topic of expressing myself clearly in terms of what I'm interested in. I think that that lack of clarity also exists in expressing thought verbally because I sometimes believe that what I'm saying is something that will be responded to defensively. My reflection on that is that when I phrase/express myself neutrally, I'm giving space for the person to choose his/her response; if defensive, that was that individual's chosen response. I did not control it.
