"The bitch became worse after she started drinking. Ever since I was little my 'mother' hated me. Everything was my fault, even if I didn't do it. I always tried to make her happy, I would make her dinner or color a picture and she would huff at it and throw it. The drinking started a few years ago after the divorce from my father. My poor father, he never knew what she did. She would make up lies and make him discipline me for no reason at all. She would throw things at me, make me lie to my teachers and friends. She would hit me, push me, throw me and spit on me. My life hasn't been the best but I still try to stay strong."
My therapist sat there and listened as I began talking about my mother. He would just shake his head and write things down. "Mhm" is all he would say.
" what do you think doc?"
"I think that you should try to face your mother and tell her the things you've told me."
"EXCUSE ME!!! How am I supposed to talk to her!?!?!? Nothing is ever her fault. She blames everything on some one else." I am exasperated now!!! How dare he say something like that. "Besides, I have tried talking to her. I even wrote her a letter because she doesn't listen."
"Well Beth, I think that your problem is the abandonment that you feel from her and you let it consume you and you let it comsume your life."
I think about this for a moment and kind of realize that he is right. I do let it consume me. I'm getting married in a few months and I've had to do it all by myself. Uhg, why can't this be easier?!?! What else can I do?
" You could try to talk to her again, or just completely cut her out of your life. Even seeing her sometimes will bring back the pain and the memories. I know that you long for the warmth and the support of a mother but you will have your mother in law soon and it sounds as if you two are off to a great start! You are a wonderful person and you need to move on so you can move on in your life and have a great marriage with Colin." Dr. Leeth says this as if he is talking to his own daughter and I feel a lot better but I still have a question.
"Have you ever felt as if God hates you? Like you try your best and you try to make everyone happy but no matter what, Your life is a living hell and it never seems to get better?"
"Yes" and he got up and left.
My therapist sat there and listened as I began talking about my mother. He would just shake his head and write things down. "Mhm" is all he would say.
" what do you think doc?"
"I think that you should try to face your mother and tell her the things you've told me."
"EXCUSE ME!!! How am I supposed to talk to her!?!?!? Nothing is ever her fault. She blames everything on some one else." I am exasperated now!!! How dare he say something like that. "Besides, I have tried talking to her. I even wrote her a letter because she doesn't listen."
"Well Beth, I think that your problem is the abandonment that you feel from her and you let it consume you and you let it comsume your life."
I think about this for a moment and kind of realize that he is right. I do let it consume me. I'm getting married in a few months and I've had to do it all by myself. Uhg, why can't this be easier?!?! What else can I do?
" You could try to talk to her again, or just completely cut her out of your life. Even seeing her sometimes will bring back the pain and the memories. I know that you long for the warmth and the support of a mother but you will have your mother in law soon and it sounds as if you two are off to a great start! You are a wonderful person and you need to move on so you can move on in your life and have a great marriage with Colin." Dr. Leeth says this as if he is talking to his own daughter and I feel a lot better but I still have a question.
"Have you ever felt as if God hates you? Like you try your best and you try to make everyone happy but no matter what, Your life is a living hell and it never seems to get better?"
"Yes" and he got up and left.
