the more time i spend apart from you, the more i dissect you just to take a better look at all your insides and most intimate weak spots. and the worst part is that this way, i actually get a clear view of you. and i feel bitter because i see your ugliness and your smallness, it's almost like you've been too beautiful and i'm imagining it all, just because i'm small and ugly too. if i'm like this, are you also allowed to be like this?
of course you are, we are very different but eventually the same. we don't fit into the same kind of box, and maybe some part of the general idea made you be bitter and hit me, and a big part of the general idea is making me rape your vulnerable image right now. but the thing is, that as soon as i see what you are, i feel bad and i want to stop seeing you like that. i'd rather see you somewhere above me, able to teach me your lessons. but now it's too late.
we're drinking coffee together now and it seems to me that you're just an old and sad cabinet, painted too many times in the same faded color. and you're talking like the abyss between us wasn't really there, but all the words that come out of your mouth reach me as tiny clouds of dust.