then came the moment when i broke free of the current and realized, you were not who i thought you to be. despite your beauty and your infinite love for me, i was not made for you and you were not molded for me. we are two separate people, and life has taken us on two different paths. and i never told you this, but there were times when i would kneel down on my bedroom floor and pray to god to take us away from each other. set us on different paths, set us away from each other. and he did.

despite all of this, i want you to know that i still send you love and light whenever i think of you. that i take a deep breath and let it go, and that i smile because i was always much better at doing this than you were. i was always better at saying goodbye.

I'm not sure if you understand this even now, because there are lots of things you don't understand, mostly about me.