I never knew what my life had to carry. This loaded statement has followed me. I sometimes fear this is why I live. To figure out why, what, where, or how. I just want to be, to live. I want to wake up to the fact that th only person judging me is me. I cant change that. I can change how I perceive it. I judge myself. It's how the world works I guess. Why am I so inquisitive? Who reads things like this? Who even cares. Inflection. Boys. Somedays, I just want to read books all day. Others, I want to dance 'til I can't breathe. Still I find that the world cannot be limited to our labels and definitions we place upon it. No. The world continues to define me, you, and everything that exists or doesn't exist.

Whatever happens, happens. I don't care if there is an external or internal locus of control. I am living my life and letting them eat cake. Let them eat cake.
I want to fill up this page with words, powerful words. Things that will brighten your day, or brighten my day. Or maybe make me feel alive. Quite frankly, I cannot eat anymore of the worldly cake and just want to live. Life. Lives. Knife. Knives.
My brain won't let me do anything special. By special I mean a super imposed ideal in my brain, that everything I put onto paper must be "profound". Profound is man made. Profound is the ally and the enemy. Profound takes away all lines and borders and replaces them with fences and graters. I long to live my life, and live it live live it. Live it I will. Its all I can do.
I'm a pushover and want answers. I don't need them. take me home. where is home? home is within and without. home exists simply. i just want you to leave me alone.
i think. oh goodness gracious.

I