It was never supposed to be like this. This. This with his back turned and the door slamming and the tears crawling down her face.
It was never supposed to be like this. Her mother had smiled when she'd brought him home. Her swelled cheeks tinged red as she kissed his cheeks and swooned out 'Oh was a nice, handsome boy you are'. He hadn't been able to meet her eyes. He'd never been able to meet her eyes.
The sound of the car roaring to life outside her shitty-too-small-too-big apartment matches the creaking of the floorboards as her knees hit the ground. His coffee is still hot on the kitchenette, steam a steadily rising reminder of the still-smoking hole he'd ripped into her heart. It was never supposed to be like this.
Her phone rings. Once. Twice. Three times. They were supposed to go to her brother's for dinner tonight. He'd finally returned to the States after years in Europe to meet 'the boyfriend'. Her brother had laughed at her over the phone and asked why she hadn't married him yet. Everyone had asked. He had looked down. Always looked down and now she doesn't understand why she hadn't seen it sooner so she just drops further into the cold floorboards and curls around her self, the vibrations of her phone, soothing the ache in her chest if only for a while.
A door slams outside and her heart jumps, still clinging to some stupid fucking notion that this might be some elaborate joke. That she hadn't just wasted months of her life over some asshole who had only ever wanted a convenient fuck and to drag her heart through the dust behind him. The voices drifting through the window tell her differently. It's only the couple next door. She wondered if their relationship was as perfect as it seemed.
It was never supposed to be like this. The warm reds and oranges of the freshly painted walls chilling her to the bone as the chemical smell turned her stomach. She didn't throw up, but it was a close thing. She thought maybe it was because of the empty feeling that had started in her stomach and spread out across her lungs, through the muscles of her arms and legs and up into the tissues of her brain. He was never supposed to go. It was never supposed to be like this.
It was never supposed to be like this. Her mother had smiled when she'd brought him home. Her swelled cheeks tinged red as she kissed his cheeks and swooned out 'Oh was a nice, handsome boy you are'. He hadn't been able to meet her eyes. He'd never been able to meet her eyes.
The sound of the car roaring to life outside her shitty-too-small-too-big apartment matches the creaking of the floorboards as her knees hit the ground. His coffee is still hot on the kitchenette, steam a steadily rising reminder of the still-smoking hole he'd ripped into her heart. It was never supposed to be like this.
Her phone rings. Once. Twice. Three times. They were supposed to go to her brother's for dinner tonight. He'd finally returned to the States after years in Europe to meet 'the boyfriend'. Her brother had laughed at her over the phone and asked why she hadn't married him yet. Everyone had asked. He had looked down. Always looked down and now she doesn't understand why she hadn't seen it sooner so she just drops further into the cold floorboards and curls around her self, the vibrations of her phone, soothing the ache in her chest if only for a while.
A door slams outside and her heart jumps, still clinging to some stupid fucking notion that this might be some elaborate joke. That she hadn't just wasted months of her life over some asshole who had only ever wanted a convenient fuck and to drag her heart through the dust behind him. The voices drifting through the window tell her differently. It's only the couple next door. She wondered if their relationship was as perfect as it seemed.
It was never supposed to be like this. The warm reds and oranges of the freshly painted walls chilling her to the bone as the chemical smell turned her stomach. She didn't throw up, but it was a close thing. She thought maybe it was because of the empty feeling that had started in her stomach and spread out across her lungs, through the muscles of her arms and legs and up into the tissues of her brain. He was never supposed to go. It was never supposed to be like this.
