I'm 90% sure that I'm 100% done with my life. life is a whole lot of percentages and superstitions as far as I'm concerned. I've yet to do one thing that will help me or affect my life in the long run yet. I'm tired of being stuck in the average lingo, I want to branch out. everyone's told me to use this time to my best advantage because these will be the best years of my life but I'm SO SCARED and I don't know what I'm doing and if this is the best my life is ever going to be then I'm done already... I'm so fucking scared. I'm so young, and all these life altering questions are being placed on my back and I only have 6 years to decide even though I can't plan ahead two days in advance. I'm not ready to decide what to wear, let alone what the hell I'll be doing for the rest of my life. they tell us to cherish these years, the years of youth, to use them to our advantage. how the hell are we suppose to do that while also "growing up" and "acting like an adult"? I'm tired of the façade I have to put on just to go around and please everyone. for once in my life, I'd like to please myself. i shouldn't be so afraid, I shouldn't have to feel like I'm drowning, but not even that; I feel like I'm holding my breath voluntarily.