Could you have been someone else and not know it?
Is that possible?
It seems insane, and perhaps the accident scrambled my brains like freshly made omelette, but the idea creeps back into my thoughts.
It creeps.
I've lived here, with these strange companions for as long as I can remember. They say they've always remembered me this way, with this face and this 'delicate temperament', as one of them put it, but how long is that? How can I trust their words when I cannot always remember my own? I cannot bear to let anyone know that I forget things. I forget simple things like names and words and once, I even forgot who I was.
Unfortunately, I never did remember that last one.
I'm no beauty queen. This ungainly body will never take flight, no matter how hard my pitiful little wings would flap. I've tried. On paper, a creature like me should have strong wings, a slender build and light bones - how else would it have the strength to lift feet from the ground and soar? I am the antithesis. Slow and ungainly, I struggle with my body as well as my mind. Maybe my delusions of a past life are just a way to escape this ugly reality.
But, still, it creeps.
If I'm truly of this species, of this body, why do I have patches of fur? Scaled creatures shouldn't have fur... Or at least they shouldn't. It hardly adds to the beauty factor. Why am I different?
Today was the worst day in months. I forgot a simple word. 'Drink.' A small one, just five letters. I nearly took Noel's head off at mealtime today, just because I couldn't remember the word I so desperately needed in that sentence. The expression on her face when I roared at her and knocked my plate off the table was terrible. I could see months of earned trust, of bitten tongues and held tempers torched in an instant.
They'll keep their distance for a few weeks now.
I don't mean to... it's just that I get so angry.
I can never explain, it always comes out of my mouth completely wrong and almost entirely gibberish, so that I end up trailing off with a mumbled 'sorry' and fleeing for space. Space alone where the words come easy and sometimes, I can forget who I am.
Is that possible?
It seems insane, and perhaps the accident scrambled my brains like freshly made omelette, but the idea creeps back into my thoughts.
It creeps.
I've lived here, with these strange companions for as long as I can remember. They say they've always remembered me this way, with this face and this 'delicate temperament', as one of them put it, but how long is that? How can I trust their words when I cannot always remember my own? I cannot bear to let anyone know that I forget things. I forget simple things like names and words and once, I even forgot who I was.
Unfortunately, I never did remember that last one.
I'm no beauty queen. This ungainly body will never take flight, no matter how hard my pitiful little wings would flap. I've tried. On paper, a creature like me should have strong wings, a slender build and light bones - how else would it have the strength to lift feet from the ground and soar? I am the antithesis. Slow and ungainly, I struggle with my body as well as my mind. Maybe my delusions of a past life are just a way to escape this ugly reality.
But, still, it creeps.
If I'm truly of this species, of this body, why do I have patches of fur? Scaled creatures shouldn't have fur... Or at least they shouldn't. It hardly adds to the beauty factor. Why am I different?
Today was the worst day in months. I forgot a simple word. 'Drink.' A small one, just five letters. I nearly took Noel's head off at mealtime today, just because I couldn't remember the word I so desperately needed in that sentence. The expression on her face when I roared at her and knocked my plate off the table was terrible. I could see months of earned trust, of bitten tongues and held tempers torched in an instant.
They'll keep their distance for a few weeks now.
I don't mean to... it's just that I get so angry.
I can never explain, it always comes out of my mouth completely wrong and almost entirely gibberish, so that I end up trailing off with a mumbled 'sorry' and fleeing for space. Space alone where the words come easy and sometimes, I can forget who I am.
