I wonder why we met. Why you even took interest in me....why, why why? It's a constant thing that always linger in the outskirts of my imagination. I assumed at the time that was, that this was the right thing. No one ever suspects the worse when they are within the greats. Yet every year, month, week, day, hour, minute and second someone is having to deal...like I am have to deal right now. Sometimes I just muster up every ounce of happy that I have left and smile. Inside I just frown, it it obvious to everyone but you how much this is killing me. How I have to withstand how you feel, push myself aside to fit your life, your schedule. Today is a good day for you to love me, and I let you...I tried to many times to make you understand. Nothing works. I don't won't to lose you all together. I want you always be a part of my life, really I do, but sometimes you just don't understand. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I wonder how you are doing, if you are fine and wonder if you are thinking of me...then my day goes on and I realize that you really don't care as much as you said. If you did, you would give some effort, or show some sort of affection. But you don't...Then again...sometimes you are so loving...and caring. You tell me all the lovely things about me and its just amazing...then you seep back into yourself...and its like I am not the object of your affection anymore. I know your situation...and it still does not give you the excuse to play with my emotionally like you do...but still you do. Explaining isn't an options anymore. I have told you one to many and it seems that my words have yet to sink into the level of reality quite yet for you. I am tired of telling you...Sometimes I wonder...if you really know me...if you really took the time to listen to me as I answered your many questions. Do you know my favorite color, or food...or why people call my that nickname and what I like to do on nights when it is cold and rainy? I am unsure...For I will never know what lies beyond the deeps of your sparkling brown eyes. I will never know what truth lies behind that dazing smile and I will forever be captivated by the pull of your gaze for reason far beyond my concern. Sometimes you just have to go with the invisible force that is making you act and react against your own will. You just have to take a deep breath and then breathe again, because sometimes a little bit of air is all you need to clear your head. You may not know this now, but at the end of the tunnel a brilliant light shines ahead...It will all be clear and everything will make greater sense. The pieces that once would not fit will turn and come together, don't let the complications of life ruin your hopes for a better future. When those days just get to unbearable remember this, sometimes it can be worse.