I would have never thought someone could hold me for this long. Even though your arms aren't real to me yet, I fantasize about how they will be, one day, when we meet. Whether this day will exist, is unknown to both of us, but also desired by each of our simple hearts. Usually I would have already backed off, I am surely not the only one and I know I will never be, but I'm okay with this. Usually I would have already found you a disgusting old man, one with a weird mind and stupid habits, but I don't, I like your quirky-ness and how familiar you are to me. Usually I would have already hated you for your deeds, words, opinions and expectations, but I learned that I shouldn't try to change them, cause they make what you are and you are beautiful. Usually I would have already been irritated by how sensitive you sometimes are, but I'm not irritated, I find it cute and leave you to it, 'cause I know I can't control you and I know that I rather have you in my reserve than in a cage. You intrigue me, every single bit of you. I want to hear your criticism about me and I am willing to change according to this. I want to hear every single stupid story you want to tell me and I won't keep asking for the secrets you don't want to share. I am willing to listen to all the announcements of love you get and I am also fine with your decision not to tell. After two weeks of no contact, I think you're dead, but won't bother you nor your family with questions. I am very honoured to hear you tell me your problems, but very sad that there is nothing I can do. I will wait for you even when I'm not sure whether it will bring me anything good. I will wait for days in patience just to hear your voice and your funny accusations towards me. I will wait to be made out as a fool by you, after I believed one of your many lies. Yet, still, I will keep believing in anything you say, with some suspicion, 'cause I'm still human. However, trust and patience is what I think might do the job. I hope it can keep me near to you and might bring me more than I would have dared to dream. Because you're scaring the hell out of me, still your my biggest obsession, you constantly keep me busy and you're like my drug. As long as I don't talk to you, you slowly fade out, no day passes without a thought of you, but it's not as intense. Once I get hold of one tiny gram of you, I want more and more and more. Despite how much I've already had. I just want more and more of you. And all I can hope for is that you think the same about me and that you will be just as great as you seem to be. I fantasize about our marriage and children. But even when it won't come, being friends is okay, too. I'm not sure what we are, but this is just perfect, you're perfect my dear, but I can't show.