I feel edgy. I feel eggy. I feel sick.

I had a really great Christmas yesterday. Everything feel into place, in a good way. Just. it was good.

But then I got sad. Got sad because there's no possible way that I could have a great Christmas with my mom, dad, and brother every year.

Basically, I'm completely afraid of death. Of my parents death. See, right now, I'm getting very teary eyed thinking of it. choked up. I know it's what's going to happen. At some point, they'll pass. But I don't want them to. Ever. I just need them to be there. All the time.