spring with its damp laden skies broke way to June and July..the tempid world of heat..and then August blew in like that...so busy were the days that I never gave
it a notice...two weeks had run by and I was just watching the skies....the haze of
heat and humidity...the tall grasses and weeds while the ciccada sang in the tree
ops....the small garden was doing well and in the wilds the daises bowed their brilliant white heads in the tangle...somewhere along the way I had begun to notice
that I was being followed..being watched...an old feeling born of my mothers illness
her fear of society and outsiders...you coudlnt tell that by the way she threw paries
for our family and cousins...uncles aunts...mothers fathers..friends..it was a very
harsh and brutal recruitment over the years....then one day I woke up and it was all
inside....all functioning automatically...as if she had built to her specifications a
machine..switched it on and walked out....It was automatic to this day although I was
not keenly aware of it as much anymore....I had worked so hard to being a normal person in most ways....some of the ways I could not shake..or actions or behaviours and others picked up on this immediately...I was out there....out where I knew not..and often they would come forward to give me knews....sit with me...i said knews because it was not news like a service...sometimes they would just sit with me or stand admiring the views like I do...one minute there are there...then the next they are gone...i used too be very alarmed when I was younger..I would look for footprints..marks on the wall with a flashlight in the dust but nothing....i asked my family about this and they just laughed it off as imagination...so this feeling that I was being watched or observed...came back...i waited but in the city there are so many people...and so many odd people too...it would be hard to know whom was real or not....whom had the real knews or just the ordinary Hi Hows the Weather kind of notation that passes between people...my intuition would go off....i dont look about anymore like i used too...i wait....if its that important they just come to me...its nothing that i am afraid of..good knews or bad....we all have a purpose and gifts on earth away from heaven...sometimes they are angels too...but you really know it then...But this sensing....it starts....and then I saw her.....a disttinct very much real person this time....even too me she is startling in her wear...the look...but it is the eyes that are most compelling and the fact that she does not break the eye contact.....I havent a clue whom she is...but my intuition tells me its something
rather important...always time....I am paitent now....answers eventually formulate out...just seems forever....and thats why august is so special...its so busy..and at the same time relazing..all the hub bub of summer activity...and one can be invisible almost...
it a notice...two weeks had run by and I was just watching the skies....the haze of
heat and humidity...the tall grasses and weeds while the ciccada sang in the tree
ops....the small garden was doing well and in the wilds the daises bowed their brilliant white heads in the tangle...somewhere along the way I had begun to notice
that I was being followed..being watched...an old feeling born of my mothers illness
her fear of society and outsiders...you coudlnt tell that by the way she threw paries
for our family and cousins...uncles aunts...mothers fathers..friends..it was a very
harsh and brutal recruitment over the years....then one day I woke up and it was all
inside....all functioning automatically...as if she had built to her specifications a
machine..switched it on and walked out....It was automatic to this day although I was
not keenly aware of it as much anymore....I had worked so hard to being a normal person in most ways....some of the ways I could not shake..or actions or behaviours and others picked up on this immediately...I was out there....out where I knew not..and often they would come forward to give me knews....sit with me...i said knews because it was not news like a service...sometimes they would just sit with me or stand admiring the views like I do...one minute there are there...then the next they are gone...i used too be very alarmed when I was younger..I would look for footprints..marks on the wall with a flashlight in the dust but nothing....i asked my family about this and they just laughed it off as imagination...so this feeling that I was being watched or observed...came back...i waited but in the city there are so many people...and so many odd people too...it would be hard to know whom was real or not....whom had the real knews or just the ordinary Hi Hows the Weather kind of notation that passes between people...my intuition would go off....i dont look about anymore like i used too...i wait....if its that important they just come to me...its nothing that i am afraid of..good knews or bad....we all have a purpose and gifts on earth away from heaven...sometimes they are angels too...but you really know it then...But this sensing....it starts....and then I saw her.....a disttinct very much real person this time....even too me she is startling in her wear...the look...but it is the eyes that are most compelling and the fact that she does not break the eye contact.....I havent a clue whom she is...but my intuition tells me its something
rather important...always time....I am paitent now....answers eventually formulate out...just seems forever....and thats why august is so special...its so busy..and at the same time relazing..all the hub bub of summer activity...and one can be invisible almost...
