Happened to me just now.
Stings like a bitch. The slap of humiliation. The kick of self-loathing. The kryptonite of self esteem. I thought he liked me so I texted him for hours, gave him chances, basically asked him out a few times. Texted him late because I can never sleep at night and he would sometimes be awake. Flirted. Got to know him. And then just now came the moment of truth when we went back and forth- "Do you like me?"
"No, but I think you do."
"I don't, but you do."
And it escalated to some hurtful things being said. I didn'thave feelings for him but it stung, some of the things he said. I got hurt. Told him I'd never speak to him again. He said, "thanks."
Fuck. Fuck. I feel like crying. I feel stupid. I feel like he is an ass. I wonder why I even did this- some mingled vainity and curiosity, because I had never had one of those relationships before and I was intrigued by the idea of someone liking me.
I didn't like him. I liked him liking me.
But now I'm hurting. I feel a tightness in the chest. I feel like I should cry.
Two tears. Need a little more than that.
Should talk to someone. I have someone to talk to. Friends. But it's too soon. I don't know what to do with myself. Kinda want to rewind and not say "hi" when I did.
We can't be friends anymore.
But I will have to see him every day.
I am glad, in a way, that this stupid game is over. I hate games. Always lose.
Fuck, but I am a moron.