do know gives everyone a heart attack. they don't expect the pastor's daughter who slaps them for saying 'gay' when they mean 'stupid' and attends youth group every Monday and volunteers at homeless shelters would get shit-faced at a party. they certainly wouldn't expect to find out that she hotboxes jeeps on beaches and performs double weddings and prays to the Queen of the Moon.

but all of that probably wouldn't go over well with the publishers, especially since your targeted audience is the nine to twelve demographic of vampire-humping anime-obsessed pink-haired 'hard core' tweens with black crayons around their eyes and what looks like lime green jeggings pulled around bags of pizza dough. of course it's not a phase, darling, you'll win hundreds of multi-million dollar celebrity divorce cases by reciting My Chemical Romance and listing the finer points of why you're the perfect girl for Edward Sparkle I Don't Give A Shit.

then again, with the eleven year olds getting pregnant and causing internet-wide scandals about cyber-bullying and posting naked pictures of themselves and getting the cyber police called on thousands of people, perhaps your stories of inebriated abandon would fit in right alongside their warblings of how their moms won't drive them to the mall. ya dun goof'd, thinking otherwise.