And she didn't want to abandon her relationship. She loved her boyfriend. She loved him a lot. She saw a future with him. This, she told herself, was just appealing because she was lonely. Because she loved the feeling of falling for someone. That feeling vanished after a while in a relationship and she missed it a little. Not enough to do anything. Because what was a few butterflies compared to love?
None of this mattered, anyway, because he wasn't interested in her. He was interested in the girl next door. So her thoughts meant nothing and she didn't worry. A crush was all this was ever going to be.
Then one night, while they cuddled, he reached over and stroked her hair out of her face, touched her cheek, and let his hand rest there. And her heart pounded in her chest because no one did that to someone they had no feelings for. That was intimate, personal. Her roommate had developed feelings for her. He liked both girls, but one was in a relationship and unavailable. So he focused on the other one. But he had slipped up. He'd been dropping hints, wanting her to notice but knowing it wouldn't amount to anything. She was in a relationship with someone she loved, a good friend of his. He already felt terrible for the cuddling, but until she said it had to stop, he was not going to give it up. Now he'd let her know. And something hovered between them that neither was willing to acknowledge. It meant either the end of her relationship or a burr in their friendship they might never be able to work around.
So she sat on her bed, reading. He was next door, chatting to the girl.
In a perfect world, she could see into the future and see which boy would make her the happiest. In a perfect world, he could do the same. In a perfect world, they never felt anything for each other. In a perfect world, he started dating the girl next door and she stayed with her boyfriend and there was never anything between them. In a perfect world, they could be together.
But now, right now, all they had was the unspoken words. All they had was jealousy and guilt. And the smallest budding of love.
None of this mattered, anyway, because he wasn't interested in her. He was interested in the girl next door. So her thoughts meant nothing and she didn't worry. A crush was all this was ever going to be.
Then one night, while they cuddled, he reached over and stroked her hair out of her face, touched her cheek, and let his hand rest there. And her heart pounded in her chest because no one did that to someone they had no feelings for. That was intimate, personal. Her roommate had developed feelings for her. He liked both girls, but one was in a relationship and unavailable. So he focused on the other one. But he had slipped up. He'd been dropping hints, wanting her to notice but knowing it wouldn't amount to anything. She was in a relationship with someone she loved, a good friend of his. He already felt terrible for the cuddling, but until she said it had to stop, he was not going to give it up. Now he'd let her know. And something hovered between them that neither was willing to acknowledge. It meant either the end of her relationship or a burr in their friendship they might never be able to work around.
So she sat on her bed, reading. He was next door, chatting to the girl.
In a perfect world, she could see into the future and see which boy would make her the happiest. In a perfect world, he could do the same. In a perfect world, they never felt anything for each other. In a perfect world, he started dating the girl next door and she stayed with her boyfriend and there was never anything between them. In a perfect world, they could be together.
But now, right now, all they had was the unspoken words. All they had was jealousy and guilt. And the smallest budding of love.
