My Hearts Confession: 2011/3/3
I was once head over heels for this guy which turned out to be the so-called first love of my life. Apparently, its funny because as i saw the date for today i realized that it is his birthday today and I'm writing about what happened between us...LOL. Anyway,going back... A guy that was barely not up to my standards and is known to have a BAD reputation such as troublemaker, a chick magnet, doesn't study, and most of all he just bang girls. That's it, that was all he was. but of course, at first I didn't believe everyone was saying or i was hearing. I remained my stand that maybe he has changed from his foolish childhood doing and that, in relation to Law, every person is under the presumption of innocence unless proven guilty and so I gave it a shot with this guy. It all started out from a text/sms which he got my number from a friend whom we have in common, I really did not entertain him at first because of the hear says but as the few texts had turned into conversation, i found myself enjoying texting and chatting with this guy and so our love story began. It wasn't too long till we became officially a couple and so this is where my TURMOIL began. Although it was really love... though i really felt like it was true love between him and I but still with everything that have happened, I can't help but be doubtful in that love that we shared. In our 3rd month of dating, I heard rumors that he has a girl and that he is somehow courting that girl and so as a girlfriend, I did a digging and found out that it was all true and so I confronted him but instead of me getting angry and frustrated for what he has done, he was the one who started shouting at me yelling at me about trust in relationships and going behind his back because of the digging up and most of all screaming at me with his abusive words. As for me, what I did that time was to ask for forgiveness and apologized for the wrong thing that I've done to him. This thing happened maybe a few more times and that was the cycle for us. I know, HOW CAN I BE THAT STUPID!!!! right? But then i was so stupid and was madly in love with him that i refused to see the truth that was there in-front of me because i let myself be blinded with the truth because it hurts a lot and it is easy to comfort yourself with lies rather than the truth. Anyway, it was the third or fourth time/cycle that i finally broke loose with the cycle and told myself that I should stop and it is more than enough and so I did. I broke up with him but it wasn't that easy. It was really hard for me specially when i deluded myself that he loves me so much and that he was the one for me and that no one in this world could ever
I was once head over heels for this guy which turned out to be the so-called first love of my life. Apparently, its funny because as i saw the date for today i realized that it is his birthday today and I'm writing about what happened between us...LOL. Anyway,going back... A guy that was barely not up to my standards and is known to have a BAD reputation such as troublemaker, a chick magnet, doesn't study, and most of all he just bang girls. That's it, that was all he was. but of course, at first I didn't believe everyone was saying or i was hearing. I remained my stand that maybe he has changed from his foolish childhood doing and that, in relation to Law, every person is under the presumption of innocence unless proven guilty and so I gave it a shot with this guy. It all started out from a text/sms which he got my number from a friend whom we have in common, I really did not entertain him at first because of the hear says but as the few texts had turned into conversation, i found myself enjoying texting and chatting with this guy and so our love story began. It wasn't too long till we became officially a couple and so this is where my TURMOIL began. Although it was really love... though i really felt like it was true love between him and I but still with everything that have happened, I can't help but be doubtful in that love that we shared. In our 3rd month of dating, I heard rumors that he has a girl and that he is somehow courting that girl and so as a girlfriend, I did a digging and found out that it was all true and so I confronted him but instead of me getting angry and frustrated for what he has done, he was the one who started shouting at me yelling at me about trust in relationships and going behind his back because of the digging up and most of all screaming at me with his abusive words. As for me, what I did that time was to ask for forgiveness and apologized for the wrong thing that I've done to him. This thing happened maybe a few more times and that was the cycle for us. I know, HOW CAN I BE THAT STUPID!!!! right? But then i was so stupid and was madly in love with him that i refused to see the truth that was there in-front of me because i let myself be blinded with the truth because it hurts a lot and it is easy to comfort yourself with lies rather than the truth. Anyway, it was the third or fourth time/cycle that i finally broke loose with the cycle and told myself that I should stop and it is more than enough and so I did. I broke up with him but it wasn't that easy. It was really hard for me specially when i deluded myself that he loves me so much and that he was the one for me and that no one in this world could ever
