I don't like my body. I want to unzip this skin that's holding me back and float away. I would flutter my little soul self over flowers and clouds and people that I love. I would diffuse into books and become the stories, staying for as long as I please before floating, floating on. These bodies are so rough, so coarse and imperfect. They match our personalities well.
I'm being a loser again. I feel like the monkey in the middle, desperately lonely, while people on either side of me pass laughs back and forth. I always hated that stupid game. I dislike so many people, and it bothers me. I wish that I could stop, since most of them haven't even done anything to hurt me. Take marissa for example, I hate her, but she is really nice. I hate how innocent she is at sixteen, and I hate how beautiful and naive her features are. I especially hate how everyone loves her. I'm just the chubby, dirty, sulking thing in the corner. I'm probably going to hell for all of this hate, the fire burning up inside of me would fit in well there. Nick, my antidote, my sweet reliever, isn't coming over at all this week.