I’m so tired, but I just can’t sleep. It’s not an insomnia kind of thing, really. I just... can’t let myself. I’m not ready to be so vulnerable. It’s four in the morning, and the world is dead. It’s kind of nice, just sitting outside. It’s kind of nice just... being.

If I had to say what scares me the most at the moment, I don’t think I could. I like to put on a tough face, pretend to be in control, act as though nothing touches me. The sad reality is that everything affects me. I don’t have control of my life, there’s nothing constant. I feel as though I’m just drifting. I’m just going wherever the current take me. Lately, I’ve been caught in a rip.

I’m stuck. The water is splashing at my face. It’s enveloping my skull. I don’t know how much longer I can stay afloat... I need something. I need anything. I just need.
I want so desperately to love. I don’t care for someone to love me back. I’ll just think they’re ridiculous for it anyway.

I wonder if I’ll ever feel better. I hate it when I’m told to "sleep it off" because "tomorrow is a new day" and "everything looks better in the morning". It’s bullshit. You can’t sleep someone back to life. I won’t love myself tomorrow. Nothing happens over night. Nothing happens at all.

I won't shiver in the cold
I won't let the shadows take their toll
I won't cover my head in the dark
And I won't forget you when we part

Collapse the light into earth