I was born in British Columbia. That's in CAAAAANNNAAAADDDAAA, if you didn't know somehow. I can never be president. Although, to be fair, if I had been born here in Portland then I would never be president anyway, amirite? Goddamn fucking liberals. (That's me. I'm a goddamn fucking liberal.)

I love it here so much. In Portland. It's a city of unlimited possibilities. The show Portlandia scares me because I'm afraid the secret of the greatest city on Earth is going to get out. I want to hate it so badly, but I still watch it every week and really like it. It's a good show. Those liberal motherfuckers just had to go and make a perfectly decent show based on my town. Dammit. Gun rights.

I don't understand you, you know? I never have. We've known each other quite awhile now as I've slowly permeated your entire group of friends and assimilated them into my own.

Can I tell you the truth? I feel so alone right now. There was this real brief bit of time when I just felt like I was headed for being for real accepted. Now I feel like that's exploded. Gone away. Never again.

I wish I were depressed. I used to suffer from for-real depression. Like the kind your therapist diagnoses. Except I never had a therapist and maybe I wasn't actually clinically depressed. Clinical depression does run in my family, and I was mildly depressed most of the time.

The word diagnosis misspelled with an e looks like diagonal noses.

But now nothing effects me. I give meaning to the phrase "disaffected youth." We all do. I can't bring myself to care enough to change anything. This loneliness is just an agitation that is always there. But it's small enough that I just. Don't. Care. Sure all my former friends hate me. Sure I hardly talk to you anymore. Or her for that matter. Sure all the people I do hang out with right now are disgusting assholes that I hate.

Fuck.

I think I might enroll at Degrassi.