it was going to be the best day of my life. my breakfast, the usual cereal, awaited along with my blue plastic lunchbox. my father had woken me up and hour earlier than normal because we had to send my mother to the clinic. I was enthralled as I anticipated the arrival of my baby brother upon my return from preschool. After breakfast, we hurried to the car. It was a shitty small car, a 1997 Nissan Maxima. We had bought it second hand because it was all my parents could afford. Our family had resided in the States for less than 5 years, we were among low class of struggling immigrants. The car seemed smaller than usual that day. It was full because my grandmother, who was living in our tiny apartment at the time, was coming along. My aunt, a highly trained nurse, also traveled with us to the clinic. Everyone in the car was eerily quiet. The silence never made much sense to me until years later. We drove through an area that was unwelcoming and awfully urban. I felt uncomfortable as my grandmother and aunt took my mother out of the car inside the clinic. It didn't seem safe or clean, my baby brother deserved some place nicer. I kept my mouth shut and said goodbye to my mother as she walked out of the car. "Isn't this exciting?" I wondered out loud. My father answered with a quick and solemn yes. My fingers twitched as I wondered what my parents would name him, my only request was that his crib would be put in my room. I was dropped off at preschool, glowing with the thought of the baby. My mother made me promise to keep it a secret, but I could never keep this one. I saw Emma playing with blocks alone, I decided that I would tell her. Emma had always been kind to me even though i was new to class. I walked over casually and took out some blocks of my own. We first talked about our lunches, but more importantly what snacks our mothers had packed us. As usual, I had a cut apple, boring and healthy. Emma had chips, and I envied her in that moment. Then i told her about my baby brother, and how my mother wanted it to be a secret. Therefore I made her promise not to tell anyone else. Emma hugged me and told me how her nanny kept her pregnancy a secret too. This made me feel better, that my mother wasn't the only one. I walked away content that someone else in class knew. I walked around and eyed my teacher Judy. If I could trust Emma, I could definitely trust Judy. I walked over to Judy and asked if I could tell her a secret. She nodded in agreement, eager to hear what I was about to say. Once i reported my news (again), she congratulated me and asked if I was excited. I replied that I was and that my baby brother would sleep in my room. The rest of the day proceeded rather normally. We ate our lunches, sang the watermelon song and even took a short nap. If I could trust Emma, I could definitely trust Judy. I walked over to Judy and asked if I could tell her a secret. She nodded in agreement, eager to hear what I was about to say. Once i reported my news (again), she congratulated me and asked if I was excited. I replied that I was and that my baby brother would sleep in my room. The rest of the day proceeded rather normally. We ate our lunches, sang the watermelon song and even took a short nap. Finally, class was over. I couldn't hide my excitement any longer. I rushed to the door, so eager to see my mother. When she arrived, i jumped to meet her all packed up and ready to leave. Judy stopped us to congratulate my mother on the baby. My mother shot a look at me, it was quick but severe. She seemed hurt, maybe it was because I had broken the promise and exposed her secret. Judy missed the silent exchange and instead talked to my mother for a few minutes. At the end of their conversation, Judy said goodbye. She was no longer smiling. The car ride home was silent. I thought about all of the cool things I would do for my brother while my mother hummed to the radio errantly. As soon as we arrived, I ran out of the car and rang the doorbell multiple times. No one was home, so I awaited my mother to park the car and bring the keys. Waiting was eternity but finally, we opened the door to our tiny apartment. I threw my blue plastic lunchbox onto my kitchen table and proceeded to my room. It was empty. There was no crib. "Where's my brother?" I asked. Confusion spun around, nothing made sense. He was suppose to be in a crib in my room. Just as I had begged for. My mother said that I would not have a brother and that he was gone. I went to class the next day, a little under the weather and disappointed. Judy gave me a sad smile as I walked into class. Emma asked me about my brother, but I had nothing to say. Instead, we talked about our lunches and snacks.