i am so utterly exhausted it feels like i can't NOT be exhausted i'm guessing its the pills but my arms don't even want to lift up and it's tiresome to even type right now at least the rain outside is pretty and soft i should probably sleep soon but i don't want to sleep my body exhausted but my mind isn't i want to read more but if i read more i'll want to keep reading and i won't sleep for a long, long time and that's not very healthy at all i really need to get better but i'm just so scared what if it scars and i end up looking like twoface for the rest of my life that would suck so badly and i just can't write anymore i'm just too tired i'm so sorry.