She was going to kill herself. She had yet to figure out how, but the proposed death was imminent. There was the poison that lived under the kitchen sink that she could drink with her afternoon cup of tea. She could hang herself like the new curtains, using her bathrobe, the one that Ray had bought her for her birthday two years ago. Kate mused over how she would tie the fluffy light pink belt from the rails of the upper hallway, where her body would hang, and sway slightly. She toyed with the idea of dragging a razor blade across her silken ivory arm, pressing it down into her artery. She would watch the deep crimson liquid slowly trail down her wrist pooling around her. The very idea of being able to feel her destruction not only excited Kate but also enthralled her. No, none of that would do. It was all too sudden and unpredictable. And Kates death had to be the event it deserved.

Of course Ray would be upset. It might even come as a surprise to him. Of course it would. It came as a surprise to Kate herself, even though she had been thinking about this for a while. It was not as if she woke up one day with the idea in her head. No this had been a long time coming. There was just no use pretending anymore. This slice of heaven dream that they were living was really all a facade. She felt caged in by the suburban dream. Somewhere along the line Kate was sure that she had lost herself and the life she deserved. And yet it had all started out so well, buying their pamphlet readymade home. Which all started with Rays promotion. The nights by the fireside where she felt her bump move, and take his first steps. The same fireplace that was now adorn with years of photos of the shy little boy to the shinning confident football star. Kate could recall the nervous look on Pauls face when he walked through the door with the first girl bought home to meet the parents. The only girl, the same girl that had ran off and left him silent. The laughter that once rang out and run through the house had now faded.