I have two roommates. One is nice and I get along with her. The other one is a motherfucking nightmare. She eats double portions of food and she actually looks like exactly Dudley Dursley. I am not lying. Even Petunia wouldn't be able to tell the difference. She is fat enough that her boobs just look like a fat roll. The agreeable roommate and I are both bisexual, and as soon as annoying roommate found this out, she pulled out her bible and read a passage that, simply put, said we were heartless and evil. But now every time one of our gay friends over she hits on the girl. She assumes that just because we're bi, we are all falling in love with each other or at least want to fuck.
She wrote an essay for College Writing 1. It was a personal narrative. The story was about her horse. I read the first paragraph while she was out of the room. Agreeable roommate proofread it for her. We both decided that she wanted to fuck her horse. Dudley's writing is worse than Stephanie Meyer's. Her composition was truly vomit-inducing.
Every time she sees me she asks me "Are you okay hon?" I do not know why she feels the need to do this. Maybe it is because I have Asperger's and she thinks my facial expressions are off. I wouldn't know, I don't mean for them to be.
Before we moved in together we were talking on Facebook and she told me a truly awful story. About how she had dated a boy who was "Just like Edward Cullen." But she was false to him. She cheated on him with an emo boy. But she was still technically a virgin. Was I a virgin, she asked? TMI. Scarred for life.
She looooves emo boys.
Everyone thinks that she is annoying. People avoid our apartment when she is home. They always ask "Is D******* there?" If she is, we go somewhere else.
Her hair is greasy. I am looking at it right now. She needs to leave.