I've yet to talk to him tonight, I'm waiting for him to text me tonight, I want to see when he wants to talk to me or if he's even really thinking about it. My main problem is that I find time to text him all the time, even when I'm working. On my short lunch break, I'll text him or whenever I get a break. Him, on the other hand, he just stays home and plays X Box all day and yet he doesn't really ever give me a text. It kind of hurts and makes me wonder how much he really thinks about me. With him, I feel like he's constantly on my mind, I'm always thinking about him, a cute little song lyric to post on his facebook or something sweet to text him. Does he ever think about me on his alone time? Even when he's around his friends, does he ever mention me? I feel like I sometimes talk about him too much to people around me because I want everyone to know how much I love him. I don't know, I think I need to just let go of the way I felt yesterday and start fresh.
Speaking of starting fresh, Skype is down today. Not a great fresh start. Who knows when it will be back up or how Greg and I will communicate tonight. Seriously though, this is really a nuisance because it's letting me sign on, but it's just showing that I'm offline along with all my other friends. This blows.
To add to all of this, I'm going through one of those mental nervous breakdowns. Questions are popping up all over my mind, questions like:
-Since I never gets any days off of work will I ever get to go on vacation again?
-Do I really have enough passion and the capacity to store all the knowledge necessary to be a successful or even mediocre chef?
-Why do I feel like I'm gaining weight and not losing it even after all this hardcore dieting? Why have I stalled for like 3 months in true weight loss?
-What happens if I don't get lead? I can't just operate under the orders of someone like Kristen or Ashley, right?
-What happens when I run out of money? How the hell am I supposed to keep on affording the Village if I can't get my ass through a full 8 hour shift at Trat?
-How am I going to get days off work when Greg visits?
-Shit, I need to order my textbooks, am I even going to get them in time?
Oh great, I just stressed myself out more by typing it all out. Still no message from Greg, it's already past 10 in Colorado, even if we do talk, it'll be like 2 hours, what happened to the old 4-6 hour convos we used to have? (6 more days)
Speaking of starting fresh, Skype is down today. Not a great fresh start. Who knows when it will be back up or how Greg and I will communicate tonight. Seriously though, this is really a nuisance because it's letting me sign on, but it's just showing that I'm offline along with all my other friends. This blows.
To add to all of this, I'm going through one of those mental nervous breakdowns. Questions are popping up all over my mind, questions like:
-Since I never gets any days off of work will I ever get to go on vacation again?
-Do I really have enough passion and the capacity to store all the knowledge necessary to be a successful or even mediocre chef?
-Why do I feel like I'm gaining weight and not losing it even after all this hardcore dieting? Why have I stalled for like 3 months in true weight loss?
-What happens if I don't get lead? I can't just operate under the orders of someone like Kristen or Ashley, right?
-What happens when I run out of money? How the hell am I supposed to keep on affording the Village if I can't get my ass through a full 8 hour shift at Trat?
-How am I going to get days off work when Greg visits?
-Shit, I need to order my textbooks, am I even going to get them in time?
Oh great, I just stressed myself out more by typing it all out. Still no message from Greg, it's already past 10 in Colorado, even if we do talk, it'll be like 2 hours, what happened to the old 4-6 hour convos we used to have? (6 more days)
