It all started with an argument. I apologize for not remembering the details of it but I do know we were not on the same page. I think that is why he was so intriguing to me, we argued as if we had already been aquainted. He made me smile and I did not understand why but I knew I liked it. We talked as friends among a mutual friend until we became so acquainted that she no longer felt included in our discussions. For hours we would chat until one day he presented me with his number and told me to call him. The nervousness overwhelmed me as I held my phone in my hand and proceeded to dial a number unknown to me. With each ring my heart raced until I heard a voice, his voice that sounded close to what I had imagined. It wasn't long before all I wanted to do was talk to him because I loved the way he made me feel. Like I was on a cloud no one else knew about. Being young the only thing he and I knew about phones was that long distance was expensive. My mom didn't like me talking to people two towns over so imagine how she would feel about me spending 2 hours on the phone with some guy from Chicago. That didn't matter to us though. We risked getting yelled at and having our phones taken away just to talk to each other a little longer. We didn't care. Until I finally looked up the details and discovered that cell phones have free long distance. We were so excited that we talked on the phone all night. Not just 9 to 12 but literally all night. During the week he would wait until it was 8 oclock for him because that meant it was 9 for me and my minutes were free. We'd fall asleep together and if it was the weekend we would wake up and still be on the phone. That still amazes me that I could stay on the phone for 7 hours at a time and not get tired or bored with him. We watched movies together, tried reading a book together and fell asleep together. In my eyes, I felt we were perfect with distance being the only issue. That was five years ago and relationships have come and gone yet my mind still tip toes on the memories we shared. I wonder if he in his spare time has ever rentured back to those days when all we wanted was each other. Now we barely talk and when we do it is about catching up with each other. I cannot stand it. Pretending as if we never existed and feelings for one another no longer linger. He probably knows that I still have feelings for him, which is why he refuses to talk to me too long, he knows the will surface eventually. I just want to come out and say exactly how I feel but I'm a little worried about what his response will be. The only thing I want to know is if he cares for me or no, and if he does why hasn't he told me. Better yet just how he feels about me and how long he has felt that way. Maybe there is nothing left, he wants to be single and here I am bugging him about feelings that may or may not exist. He is having fun doing what he is doing, so maybe I should just give up all hope of what we use to be and simply just move on. I doubt he will ever come to me first and let out all his feelings for me. they probably no longer exist and I am just living in the past. That may be the goal.