I feel pressure to write a page a day when someone else signs me up for this tool. Gentle reminders that I did not solicit are not reminders but in fact shocking emails that I am not doing work, I am not doing work that I did not know I needed to do. I did know, but was putting it off or scared or did not care to publish online, instead preferring my writing journals by the side of my bed. Three of them are stacked up and they begin and end at various intervals over the past few years with no rhyme or reason.
Stream of consciousness persists and is easier to capture when typing because a nice by product of college is that I type faster then I write. The pressure comes from knowing that other people know I should be writing instead of pushing stories and my perspective down without giving them light. I've made a triumph of suppressing these stories instead of a triumph of showing them off. The world is better without my words, I've truly convinced myself and since no one can spell any more, who cares. In five years there will be no credence to personal ideas at all.
We all care about our individual rights and are very concerned about preserving or attaining them, but we do not realize our fight for personal rights eliminates our autonomy. In order for someone else to have the same as me, I have to give something up. Sometimes this is a good and necessary thing, sometimes it is not and people should not have the same as me. Or taken a different way, I should not have the same as them. I should not take from them just because I don't have it. I digress...
I feel pressure in many areas of my life and maybe by writing one page per day, one pressure will be eliminated. The pressure to tell a story, even a small one, will be eliminated from my life, the pressure to ignore that story goes away and whether I think so or not, the world may be interested after all. Someone once told me that I was not special to the world, but I was special to them. Okay, that's good enough for me.
Stream of consciousness persists and is easier to capture when typing because a nice by product of college is that I type faster then I write. The pressure comes from knowing that other people know I should be writing instead of pushing stories and my perspective down without giving them light. I've made a triumph of suppressing these stories instead of a triumph of showing them off. The world is better without my words, I've truly convinced myself and since no one can spell any more, who cares. In five years there will be no credence to personal ideas at all.
We all care about our individual rights and are very concerned about preserving or attaining them, but we do not realize our fight for personal rights eliminates our autonomy. In order for someone else to have the same as me, I have to give something up. Sometimes this is a good and necessary thing, sometimes it is not and people should not have the same as me. Or taken a different way, I should not have the same as them. I should not take from them just because I don't have it. I digress...
I feel pressure in many areas of my life and maybe by writing one page per day, one pressure will be eliminated. The pressure to tell a story, even a small one, will be eliminated from my life, the pressure to ignore that story goes away and whether I think so or not, the world may be interested after all. Someone once told me that I was not special to the world, but I was special to them. Okay, that's good enough for me.
