This is nuts man. It's absolute nuts. I mean what the hell am I doing up so god damn late? What the hell is this crap? What's going through my head? I mean really I must be absolutely crazy. Hell, I am crazy. I am crazy as can be. I worked way too late tonight. I have to take two, no three tests tomorrow.

Why won't he leave me the hell alone? Why can't there ever be someone who's healthy for me in my life? It's always the crappy assholes who are attracted to me. It never fails. I'm going on strike. I'm boycotting boys. Ha.

My shrink told me, "There's a big difference between a guy and a man. And it's not age." He then proceeded to talk about maturity and all that jazz. Well, you know what? I want a man. I want a man who is about eighteen to twenty-two years of age. Do you know how long I have wanted that? And I'm not settling for any crap anymore. I refuse.
And now, to sleep.