Stalked by a murderous demon. Doesn't it sound brilliant? You see, the other day in class we had to come up with our deepest, darkest fear. All I could think of was watching someone get tortured. Not very creative, eh? Other kids thought of getting eaten by sharks, buried alive, turned inside out... Mine looked really dull in comparison. Well, now I've come up with something better.
I know it seems rather random, but--like many good ideas--it was inspired by real life. In fact, right now, I'm being stalked by a murderous demon. He's not really intent on murdering me, but that should hardly matter, because someone intent on murdering at all is someone I would generally prefer to avoid. And I am, I assure you, trying to avoid him, but he really won't quit following me. I've even asked nicely.
"Please stop following me," I told him. Note the word please.
"No," he replied.
"I'll be your best friend?" I offered. Sure, it was a lame attempt, but maybe that's all he wanted? He didn't reply at first, so I thought he was actually considering it, and I added, "We'll be like penpals, of course."
"I already have a penpal," he said, "And a best friend."
"Go stalk them?" I suggested.
"That's not what friends do."
Then we got into a discussion over what penpals actually did, which, in turn, lead to a discussion about stalkers.
"You do realise you're a stalker, don't you? This is illegal."
"Stalkers are more discreet."
"Well, you're a poor stalker, but you're still trying, aren't you?"
"If I were stalking you, which I'm not, I imagine I'd be a rather fabulous stalker, seeing as you're the only one who can see me."
"I'm the only one who'd have to see you, if you were stalking me."
"Exactly. You can't get a restraining order on an invisible man."
"Demon."
"Same thing really."

jio