Well its Wednesday already . I dont normally like Wednesdays because thats when my juice is running low . Methadone . Yes , Im on 260 mg a day and some days it tastes like water . I know the nurses are watering it down but I can not prove it . And who are they going to believe ? Me ? Or the nurse ? Can you figure that one out ? They must not care how they are fucking me up inside . When they get the dose wrong it screws my whole system up . It is supposed to work with consistency . My conselor hears all about it , she can not do nothing .
A person can never live down there past . I accept this now and I am no longer disillusioned . I always thought that once a person put their evil ways behind them and bettered thier lives , society would allow them back in and allow forgiveness. No . Its not like that at all . People dont forgive and forget , not even after say , 7 years . You have to live with everything you have ever done . Does God forgive us ? I was taught that he does . So why cant the humans ? I am not going to grieve over it . I will simply try to live my life the best I can and maybe someday the forgiveness will come . Maybe .