march 8
Your name is Morgan. Mine's Lanae. Secretly, I want nothing more than to be around you all day long. You make me laugh. You make other people laugh. You dyed your hair darker, but I still liked it before. On Halloween you briefly thought about going as a human matchstick. I smile to think about it now. I guess you could call it a crush...because it's crushing my heart not to tell you. But what if I told you? Ha, what a mess that would be! Sometimes, I let myself pretend you would want me around. The truth is that I don't know what you would do. I guess that scares me. Scares the shit out of me.
You took away my razor at lunch yesterday. Why? Could it possibly be that you might care - even if it might only be a little? And when I begged for it back, you said no. Ha! Never has that word sounded so good! So good, but so far away. Soon, we will go our separate ways, and I will never see you again. Never... Such a heavy word. But it is indeed this very word I have damned myself with. And you will never have known; I will never have known - what could have been.
I'd give it all up for you. All the hurt, all the pain, my sorrow - everything I know as familiar. I'd trade all of it and more for you.
march 12
You were there when I went to Adin's house yesterday. I was hoping you would be. You hugged me, if only in play, but did you notice my heart skip a beat? Every time you come within a five-foot proximity of me, everything kind of slows down and accelerates at the same time. I kept trying to walk behind you, because you always smell so good. How creepy is that?! Oh, and I still have the lighter I found in the jacket you made me wear.
I can't explain you to myself. These feelings never last. They fade like dying roses in summer sun. Within a month or two I should have resolved what you make me feel, but no. I met you in September, maybe October. Six months I can't explain. If I ever told you, though, I fear you would go away. Would I so soon rather live in angst than regret?
march 27
Yesterday I told you how I felt. We're 'still cool' but not the same. I don't know how you will change. I didn't really tell you the whole truth - I only said I like
Your name is Morgan. Mine's Lanae. Secretly, I want nothing more than to be around you all day long. You make me laugh. You make other people laugh. You dyed your hair darker, but I still liked it before. On Halloween you briefly thought about going as a human matchstick. I smile to think about it now. I guess you could call it a crush...because it's crushing my heart not to tell you. But what if I told you? Ha, what a mess that would be! Sometimes, I let myself pretend you would want me around. The truth is that I don't know what you would do. I guess that scares me. Scares the shit out of me.
You took away my razor at lunch yesterday. Why? Could it possibly be that you might care - even if it might only be a little? And when I begged for it back, you said no. Ha! Never has that word sounded so good! So good, but so far away. Soon, we will go our separate ways, and I will never see you again. Never... Such a heavy word. But it is indeed this very word I have damned myself with. And you will never have known; I will never have known - what could have been.
I'd give it all up for you. All the hurt, all the pain, my sorrow - everything I know as familiar. I'd trade all of it and more for you.
march 12
You were there when I went to Adin's house yesterday. I was hoping you would be. You hugged me, if only in play, but did you notice my heart skip a beat? Every time you come within a five-foot proximity of me, everything kind of slows down and accelerates at the same time. I kept trying to walk behind you, because you always smell so good. How creepy is that?! Oh, and I still have the lighter I found in the jacket you made me wear.
I can't explain you to myself. These feelings never last. They fade like dying roses in summer sun. Within a month or two I should have resolved what you make me feel, but no. I met you in September, maybe October. Six months I can't explain. If I ever told you, though, I fear you would go away. Would I so soon rather live in angst than regret?
march 27
Yesterday I told you how I felt. We're 'still cool' but not the same. I don't know how you will change. I didn't really tell you the whole truth - I only said I like
